My Struggle; Our Victory
The Following words were written by my friend, Samuel. I asked him to tell me his story—Tell me your perspective as a black man. Tell me about your hope. Don’t we need to hear it?!
May his perspective change ours.
By: Samuel Miller
I have sat here at my desk for the last week and tried to write out my story regarding racism. How do you write about the injustices, prejudice, fear, and rejections in a way that conveys the true feelings inside? How do you describe the feeling of being told that you fit the description of a criminal; are held at gunpoint at the door step of your own apartment, when the crime was committed 10 miles away from your place and you just finished football practice less than 20 minutes ago? How do you put into words the thoughts of survival when you have a policeman pull you over and your first thought is that you want to just make it home alive or hoping that you get an honest officer? These are some of the most common thoughts that run through my mind daily. So, where do I begin? Well, I guess it would be smart to start at the beginning. But I will break it this down into the following format: my past experiences, the current climate in the United States, and what I believe is a possible way to move forward in unity. Here we go…
Some of my first experiences in dealing with racism started when I was under the age of five years old. My parents, older brother and I were traveling across the country when we stopped at hotel for the evening. My brother and I loved swimming and playing in the water. My parents were nearby as we swam. There were other children, who were white, in the pool, and we began to play together. Their parents saw that we were all playing together. They told their children to get out of the pool and come to where they were located. They waited some time and then left the pool area. Now, I know what many of you are thinking; it was nothing. The parents wanted to leave the pool and do something else. While that may be true in most cases, it was not true here. This is a small brush with racism at a young age. I have several more that are more blatant than this. I wanted to tell this one because of the simple nature that racism can creep into everyday life.
Another time that I faced racism was at church. I was about 14 years old and I had a huge crush on this one girl of whom I thought was amazing. I am an old-fashioned type of man. I wanted to ask her out, but I wanted to be proper about it. I wanted to take her to a movie or go bowling. But I decided that I needed to ask her parents if it was okay to take their daughter on a date that would be supervised, and an adult would be present. Mind you, I have been going to church my whole life. I was a good kid and I was all about doing the honorable and Godly thing with any relationship and friendship. The young lady was okay with us going out. Her parents, before this situation, were friends of our family and we have broken bread (ate dinner) together on several occasions. Her father and mother pulled me aside and told that the Bible said that it was wrong to be with someone who unequally yoked. I knew he was talking about my skin color. The Bible does say that, but they used it regarding our different races. The Bible never mentions race in the context of this verse. When I asked my parents if I was unequally yoked with this girl, they told me that it had to do with my skin and not what I believed. Her parents tried to back track their explanation, but the damage was done. The place where racism was not supposed to exist at all is the place where I faced the most racism.
The last experience I will tell you about is when I was in high school in Fort Collins, Colorado. It was my senior year and I was going into my last semester with a 4.2 GPA. I really should have graduated at the end of my junior year, but I wanted to play sports in high school and college. I took an upper level English course which would allow me to be eligible to run track in the spring. The teacher of that class was an educated, world-traveling, white woman. My best friend, who is Hispanic, and I were in this class together. I never skipped her class. I am a naturally quiet person. This teacher spent much of the semester tell me and my friend that we would amount to nothing and that we would be failures in life. She asked him what he wanted to do when he was older and stated that he wanted to a youth pastor. She told him that would never happen because he was not good enough to do so. She told me to my face and front of the class that since she had visited Africa for 2 weeks that she knew and had more understanding of black culture than I did. She gave me D’s on all my papers that I wrote and said that I was writing at a below average level. I should inform you that I had academic scholarships for engineering and other science majors at most universities in the United States. I scored in the 95th percentile on my SAT and ACT. I was having my papers checked by an English professor at the local state university and she stated that my papers would receive at least a B for college standards. This teacher tried to tell my parents that I was dating a 23-year-old woman while they were at the parent-teacher conference. She was lying about me and I could do nothing about it. I finally talked to the AD of the school and he told me that he would investigate the whole situation. He stated that he could not fire her, but he could ask her to give me my final and finish the class so it could be kept quiet for the rest of the semester. He did the best he could because she had a lot of pull with the higher ups. I ended up with the only D on my transcript which was from her class. She did not want me to be the top student of my class. This woman used her power to try to destroy the lives of two young men that were of a different race than hers.
The current climate in which find ourselves in today is the same climate that was there in the 1950’s and 1960’s. This is the same battle that was fought in the Civil War. I have had several run-ins with bad police, and I have been blessed to make it out alive, but it has come at a cost. I have been pulled over for the light that is over the license plate being out and had to sit in my car with my hands out the window with 5 squad cars surrounding me while they try to find if I have any warrants and asking me why I am in their town. While this is not a daily occurrence, it happens more often than you think. I have been followed home several times because it is impossible for a black man to live in a nice neighborhood. I have had to open my garage door so that they know that this is where I live. It is suffocating and humiliating at the same time.
This is not just my story; it is my everyday life. It is the constant, daily battle of not living in fear of dying each day because someone else is having a power trip or having a bad day. It is my mother and father praying for protection for their children because they know that every day that we walked out of that door was a day that someone could take their child’s life or worse, destroy their life by being falsely accused for something that they never did. This is every day. This is the story of most minorities in the world today. To be honest, it is very exhausting. I am tired; we as a people are tired. We are not asking for special treatment. We are asking for equal treatment. We want criminals in jail, too. We want a chance to have the basics in life. I think every human wants to have a solid roof over their head, a good job or employment, enough food to feed their family and loved ones, make enough money that they can enjoy life, and finally, have everyone that they love make it home alive and healthy each day. That is not the American dream, it is the dream of every person on earth. We just want the same. I just want to live in true freedom.
Where do we go from here? Racism is not a political issue; it is a heart issue. Both parties, Democratic and Republican, have blood on their hands when it comes to dealing with racial issues. No one is innocent when it comes to the issue of racism. Both parties have used the racial issue to gain political power. They have not done what they have promised. It is We, The People, that most hold everyone in positions of authority to a higher standard. They are meant to represent us, and they have not. We must stop voting along political party lines and vote for the individual that is willing to sacrifice their life and livelihood to do what is right and uphold justice. The reason many consider Abraham Lincoln and JFK as some our greatest leaders is due to their willingness to do what is right by the people and not hold to party lines. It cost them their lives. I am not saying that someone or everyone in those positions must die, but what I am saying is we need people in those positions that are willing to risk it all for the good of all people. The unrest that we are experiencing today is the anger and frustration of oppression of 400 years. But fighting racism must come from both sides. It is not a one-sided battle. We do need unity. We need people to stand with us and risk it all to end this cycle. Stop voting for people that just keep making promises to change; they care about being voted in and not us, the people. That is the government aspect of this topic; now is the real heart of what we can do.
The body of Christ must get real about this topic. The most racist time of the week is Sunday service. We do not love our brother. We say that we do, but our actions say the opposite. We are more willing to help someone in a different country than we are willing to talk to our neighbor of a different race. I will ask you two questions and I hope that you will answer honestly, and this goes for all races.
First, if you look at your recent calls and text messages before this happened in Minneapolis, how many of those people are not the same race or color as you and how often to you communicate with them? Second, what do you think heaven is going to look like? It says that every nation and tribe and tongue will be there. Not everyone is going to look and act the same. Stop letting the fear of the unknown deprive you from having your life enriched. I have learned a great amount from people that do not look like me and vice versa. If we stop fearing one another and look at each as human beings and make a personal connection with people around us, we as a people and country can move forward in unison and really make a change in the world. But first, we need to stop and truly listen to the voices of the unheard and oppressed. We must stop making excuses and start taking action. Because racism will not stop at color once it wipes out a race, it will go after class, social status, and anything else to cause division and death. I pray that we truly listen to the hearts of the hurting people. Be blessed.